Please do not judge.

As I start to write this, I am not exactly sure where it will end up. I was recently inspired while at Dollywood with my potty training toddler. Brian and I were taking turns riding rollercoasters. So, I was feeding Caroline at the base of the Wild Eagle and Maddox was eating string cheese. He stood up, pulled down his underwear and said, "Mommy, I have to go potty." My first instinct was to look for anywhere he could semi-appropriately deposit urine that did not involve underwear. So, I stopped feeding Caroline, abandoned our bags, and grabbed his little hand to waddle over to a rainwater drain. No one else was around, so I thought. Suddenly, I hear,

"Ma'am, Ma'am. His pants are down."
I looked back and said, "I know. He is potty training and he has to pee."
"Ma'am, but his pants are down."

At this point I have a face of somewhat disgust. As I hold my 25 lb. 8 month old on one hip and I am struggling to help and reassure my child that we will reach a place to potty soon, if he can just hold it, I try to keep my composure. I thought I looked like a mom that was loosing it but clearly, she must not see my desperation. So, I turn to face her.

"The closest bathroom is back by River Battle."

Now, if you have ever been to Dollywood, you know this is about a quarter mile and two staircases away from where I am. So, I decided we are going to make it as far as we can. I pull up his underwear and we hustle up and down two flights or stairs with his precious voice saying, "Mommy I have to go potty." The nearest available area was a pile of rocks by a fence. Yes, I let my child urinate in public, in a place that no one would accidently step. To appease/confuse the worker. We decided to stay at the bottom of the steps for five minutes. When we went back up to the ride. She and I made eye contact in a way that let her know I tried, but she knew we could not have made it to the bathroom and back in that time period. Clearly, this woman had never potty trained a two year old before. Clearly, I will not take Caroline anywhere when she is potty training. Boys can be so much more discrete.

It caused me to think about so many things that I have judged other parents for. Until you have been there, in that exact same circumstance, you can not know how you will respond. I used to judge moms that did not stay at home - at least part time. I thought that daycare was evil. I am now realizing that for some families, they financial instability and stress would be worse stress than mom staying in daycare. We are now putting the children in a day school two days a week. We have decided the removing the financial burden and paying off debt ASAP, while the kids are young, will benefit them more in the long term. This does not exclusively apply to child rearing. Although mommies are some of the toughest critics in the world.

Recent changes in the social and political arena have caused great divides among both secular and religious individuals, not limited to but including politics. While I condone open conversation. I feel like the terms "don't judge" or "tolerance" or "acceptance" has become a hot button words to condem others. Open dialogue is so much more beneficial that just gossip and judgement. What if we all decided to talk more about our opinions instead of being worried that not being politically correct would ruin the lives of ourselves, families, and businesses? What if the church actually started holding its members accountable and learned to love the secular world instead of condeming? What if we stopped pointing the finger out of our doors and starting keeping our church spiritually accountable? What if we choose to love our community for who they are and realized that they are not submitting to the Holy Spirit, so they are not under the same guidelines or authority that the church is? Would the church be perceived differently? Would the world be better? Would there be more love and grace given? I am not sure, but I would love to see what this might look like.